I’ve never been a big fan of change, as much as I would like to think that I was. I always thought I craved adventure and spontaneity, but quite honestly, those things sometimes scare me, which my younger self would cringe at if she heard. I never wanted to be just like everyone else, I wanted to be extraordinary. Youth often has a rose-colored vision to it, and as I’ve gotten older, I realize my vision was heavily tinted.
But I digress.
Last September, we decided to move back to my hometown in Pennsylvania, mainly so our son would be closer to his grandparents and extended family, have a better education, and be able to play outside in the summer without the possibility of heat stroke or extreme sunburn. See, for the past 11 years, my husband and I were living in Myrtle Beach, SC, and oh, how I loved it. The heat, the sun, the sand, the ocean. Most weekends were spent at the beach, the sun lifted my spirits, and I adored the year-round temperatures and easy living. My husband did not share my affirmation of the hot summer sun and sand. Being fair skinned, he had to be wary of getting a sunburn, and sand was often his nemesis, finding it everywhere, but he too adored the year-round sunshine. Shopping and a slew of restaurants were close by, we made a great group of friends, and started a web design/marketing business. Life was good.
But, when we had our son two years ago, everything began to change for us. Holidays felt a bit emptier, we no longer had a guest room handy for friends and family, and thus heated discussions about who could stay where and when they came to visit often marred what visits we did have, and we began to feel as if something was missing. We had always thought if and when we had kids we’d move back home, but I think deep down, I honestly thought it wouldn’t happen. However, having a baby really does change everything, especially your priorities. And so, in the hopes to give our son a better life, education, and memories with his grandparents (something I reveled in being close to both of my grandmothers, and something my husband wishes he had more memories of), we decided to make the move before our son entered school and made friends.
And honestly, I knew it would be an adjustment, most likely a hard one for me. The sun doesn’t shine nearly as much in western PA as it does in SC, the allergens that fill the air often bring me to my knees, and snow would once again drive me nuts. My husband is easier going than I am, so he knew he would and could make the best of the move. I hoped to follow his lead, to not allow it all to get me down. To remember that winter does end, eventually, that spring and summer will come with resplendent luster and life would once again be good, once I found my rhythm.
But, even with all of this in mind, it still has been incredibly hard on me. More than I like to admit. I am trying to change it all around, to remember our reasons, the love we receive from our families, the positives over the negatives, but some days, like today, I flounder.
One way I hope to make the best of our circumstances is by revamping this blog into a space that I can share and focus on things that I do love and make me happy. A spot for inspiration for me, and maybe others, but a visual reminder of the things that bring me joy and add a bit of style and grace to what I call the ‘blahness of everyday’.
So, if you find yourself reading this, change is coming for this space, one I hope to fill with notes on inspiration, recipes, anecdotes on style. Like me, it will evolve and change. I even hope to add a small shop of items that I personally created, and maybe eventually curated, that I find joy in and hope that others will too- jewelry and paper goods to start.
I want and need an outlet that is just mine, so if you join me on this journey, I thank you. I want to simplify and create a vision that will inspire, and I hope, one day, inspire others. -Rebecca